Tag Archives: letting go

My “vacation” is about to end….

Posted on by godojoaquin

I only have a few days and I’m going back to  San Francisco.

I’ve already packed my stuff but I was  “forced” 🙂 to buy another luggage so I could put all the things that Mom wanted for “pasalubong”, (Filipino tradition of travellers bringing gifts from their destination to people back home).

A part of me is happy because I’m finally going home to be with my Mom. I’ve been away for more than 4 months and I’ve missed my family back there. I also need to fix a lot of things regarding my residency.  There are so many things that I need to do and thinking about it now makes me want to panic. But I’m already preparing myself for a hectic schedule ahead.

Well, a part of me is sad because I’m going home with a broken heart. I was wishing that maybe somehow I could still see her even for the last time and hug “our son” Godo Jr. But I don’t know if that would still be feasible given the present situation.  And besides I respect her “new” relationship and I will not do anything to shake or disturb it.

I’m moving on and accepting the situation with an open mind and heart. It’s not easy but I’m surviving through God’s grace. I want to believe that all these things that had happened were part of His plans for me and I just need to learn from it and move on.

I’m thankful for the love, understanding, patience and support that my family has given me all throughout this painful journey. I know they were hurt and disappointed but they’ve handled everything well. There was even a time that I requested them not to say or post anything against her online because I don’t want our situation to be the subject of an “online feast”.  They may be silent but they know everything that had happened.

God didn’t allow my “failed plans” to pull me down and instead gave me the chance to recommit myself to Him and the time to reconnect with my siblings in the Philippines.

After I was discharged from the hospital:

  1. I was able to explore places within Metro Manila, Bulacan, Cavite and Pampanga;
  2. I became  a “nanny” to my beautiful niece, Jaja, and it’s one of the best times of my life;
  3. I had my “swimming moments” with my family in Fontana, Amana Waterpark, Dream Wave Resort and in our pool at home;
  4. My Holy Week was spent with my family in Tagaytay City and Nuvali.
  5. I was able to rest well in our house in Santa Maria.
  6. I was able to finish an “audition” for a male facial wash through the prodding of my aunt.
  7. I had a great time visiting some relatives and the food that they’ve prepared for me was ohhhhsome (awesome I mean);
  8. I had a grand time going to SM Malls (Mall of Asia, North Edsa, Megamall, Fairview, Marilao, Pampanga, Makati, Aura), Robinson’s Place (Pampanga, Malolos, Galleria, Magnolia), Waltermart (Santa Maria), TriNoMa, Glorietta, Greenbelt, Market Market. Marquee Mall. Whew! So many shopping malls in the Philippines!!!!!
  9. I was able to jog, bike, stroll and walk along Bonifacio Global City;
  10. I was able to attend worship services at our church in Santa Maria and at Victory Christian Fellowship;
  11. I had the luxury of time to reflect on what happened and was able to spend time with God through prayers and “quiet time”.
  12. I went to the “palengke” (public market) in Santa Maria and had a great  time making “tawad” (bargaining) with my Ate;
  13. Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks 🙂

I’m living my life one day at a time, making slow small steps towards healing. The journey is not easy but I’m placing my trust to the ONE who holds my life. I know He will sustain me and will lead me to where He wants me to be. And in time, in His perfect time, all these things, all that had happened will just be “lessons learned” in my life’s journey.   Thank you God.

gtac

 

©godosjoaquin 2014